Through Sickness and in Health

So I have put out two new stories, a example of me as a writer, one new and one old……. The new one I was sitting in my car and I knew that I had to get that story out that I promised with my bonus post. Then I found that there was a way to password protect a blog—– JUST IN CASE–

Well so I figured since our art is neither perfect, innocent or always godly well not everyone wants to read our art— and that is just fine… But I like to write about all things not just kids books or vampire but Yes not so classy stuff… There I said it, I really did!

I am a lover of  most Genre– my favorite well I don’t really know— that’s the issue..My book is the problem– I can see it being, romantic– but not so much…. Horror–but is it?  Fantasy but it doesn’t really fit either…. so here Ive got this odd, doesn’t fit right, sitting in the corner while being miss creepy and stalking the romance novels, wishing Fabio could kill them most violently, and then laughs cause the joke was to good or so she thought…….

That’s right— where does my book fit?

That’s the question all authors HAVE to have the answer before looking for someone or chances to getting your foot in the shoes are slim to none— more none.

So now that I am aware the Dissociative Disorder that had taken its shape as my book– I need to figure out how to fix it… So while I am fixing that, gotta say the sticking to writing my book and this post on a constant schedule is becoming harder. Between a bad case of, “someone didn’t prepare food right at your expensive sushi restaurant which I want to thank the person who paid for dinner but kick the people responsible for mentioning it

(the award goes to Mr. and Mrs. Lindor for the hard work of my intestinal capabilities….. crowd stands up and cheers, while Mrs. Lindor runs off the stage to use the bathroom again)

and being tired for acting like a twenty year old and — oh wait I am…(looks around to see who will know who I am and point at my 21 year old son)

So to get to the point of this scary post, hard work will pay for itself, I know it and health is poor but if the words don’t get on that paper, notepad, notebook, computer, table top, arm and shoulder, or even the mashed potatoes that have now became a smeared mess, cause it was damn good potatoes, then it will just hang there, egging you on and pushing you around until u want to scream.

 

SO GO WRITE or at least read my blogs and my stories and share things my amazing readers!!!!!

 

 

 

His and Her demons

(Typing on the phone in may car)

The strength it took her to get up that day was like being choked by that one horrible man. Her bed faced the window and as the light came through her curtains, she wished she purchased those blackout curtains so the Ray’s of light couldn’t penetrate her demons.

“What demons?”, she whispered as if those words were meant to be secret. If she was referring to the demons in her head, true darkness would only make them more ghoulish and “monster under the bed like.”

Or if referring to her demons as her relationship then couldnt she just sleep with the next man, get over him then be the one that chokes the other until almost dead?

“Hmmm what an entertaining idea.”

She looked at the clock and knew that it had to be done even though the weight of it all made her feel frozen.

Slowly she lifted her head, shoulders, back off the bed as she sat for a moment and rested her bare feet on what felt hard and immovable. She looked down and smiled as she sat for a moment knowing that the clock was a minute more then it was a moment ago.

“Dont worry, demon I’ll be gentle!”

As she stepped her full weight down she felt him jerk at the pain that was caused to him not moments before she fell asleep.

And as she found the strength to face her demon one last time, she felt her hands on her sore neck and knew that she would heal one day.

Bonus late night early post

So a little treat for any readers that are out there since I failed to successfully post every day, week or month.

Just came home, successful day at editing and decided that I would write examples of how I write here…. starting tomorrow because anything i write tonight will be misspelled, mistook and misunderstand by schlors and children alike…

So right now I say goodnight and that tomorrow brings awesomesness…

But question for all of you all is this, I like to write different genres, same genre, isn’t that boring?

On top of things and on the bottom

So here is where I’ve been for a couple months now trying to set my own timelines and schedule, balancing paying job, kids, household and social life. So that’s my excuse for not posting….. all forgiven? Hope so, not sure if anything is read but I would like to think so. Besides not doing the important things like posting in my blog about my experience as a wanna be writer, but relationships are hard too.

If you literally come to my door, you have my attention, your at the hospital you have my attention… But you want my attention. Good luck!! Anyone else notice how hard that is… Is that telling me that if I become that famous writer, ill be friendless, spouse less, and judged against?

Do we judge someone as busy as us?

I do.. I am terrible– My oldest son doesn’t call me and I judge. My father doesn’t call me, i judge- I am a human person or at least I think–

So enough about judgy me…. I am editing my book and adding the corrections back to the book… Then the scary thought is…. how many times do i do this? Every time I get done editing editing rewriting do i edit edit rewrite again or just throw caution to the wind and “JUST DO IT” hmm

we shall see–

 

Well its always nice chatting with you all!!

 

 

Just Another Day

These are one of the days I hate. Its the day, I go to the job that pays the bills, make dinner, have multiple arguments with child, eat, wash up and bedtime. Don’t have much time to write and all the while my main character calls to me for her story to get written. On a constant pause and all the while I feel that she and also he are looking at me, wondering what the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I write on the days that I go to work?

I am working hard to finish my book but its never quick enough. I feel time go by so quickly and then its time to make appointments, clean, see my mom, do the schedule for my son. Its like I just started writing and then the time is up, I love it though. I love how many pages that I complete by the end of that, what I believe to be, short time. The adrenaline of seeing my characters in action in my mind as I play out their story.

But here is my dilemma, I am not young anymore. Is it stupid to think I can make a career of writing when I am this old? Yes Yes, its never too late but as Ive said before I have wasted so much time with excuses.

I guess today’s lesson is…. Don’t waste time.. Make time on what you love

 

Writing and Not Writing

So I decided to start my blog so anyone with the want or in my case the need to write and have road blocks in your life, know that your not alone. I have always loved writing but life has always been my road block. Now it’s my son of 12 years who is just about to be 13 and “doesn’t care” about anything. I know he does but getting him to get unstuck is always difficult.

I decided no matter what, to start writing consistently 2 or more days per week. On  Sunday I write at home in the morning no matter if my son is at his dads or not. I then write at the coffee shop as soon as I drop my husband off at work at 6:45am until whenever I feel that I need to leave. (usually until noon or 1pm)

I wrote a book when I was younger, which helped me survive a life that was a bit hard. But between hanging out with the wrong crowd, family who doesn’t care too much about if your going to be OK or not and making bad choices about unprotected sex, that book remained locked in a 9 year old’s mind. I attempted at a time in my life to rewrite that story but without solid story background and my oldest who was a handful, I was told by my friend (be careful–this can ruin friendships) that it lacked substance.

Heartbroken and rejected, I stopped with a big old helping of troubled child and writers block.

Now I am diving into the story again and it is going great… not all the time smoothly but it has its moment… I have the base of the story but getting it from beginning, middle and then end, that can be hard.

The other thoughts that I have is, am I a one book wonder? Will they all hate it? Am I not as good as I feel that I am?

I try to remove those thoughts because I love to write and even if I self publish (I would prefer not too) I will.

I am excited about this trip that I am going on and I hope you enjoy coming along with the ride.

 

Lovingly yours

My writer self