Twiddling of thy thumbs…

I guess that this was the moment I hated the most. The moment where I am not doing what I should be doing… and that is, write. With this whole pandemic, I have become busier than before. I hope everyone stays safe and healthy by the way.

I am waiting for other people who seem to have become busy too, so I can publish my book with its handy dandy new cover and edits. (which I am fine with their time, I want them to take their time) All I have to do is edit my short stories… easy right? Wrong. I don’t know if its the fear of completing something to just move on to my next project and knowing just how much of a failure I really am?

I know that I have to go back to my roots and just write. In the writing, publishing, and smile business, I have to maintain some sort of confidence. Otherwise, you have just wasted everybody’s time. I do mean everybody and even everything. From the time typing to the friends, family, and hopefully strangers that invest in your book.. Not really the book but in you.

They invest in you as a writer, hoping that you are someone with good ideas. They invest in your book because they want to know more of the stories.

So if your story sucks, they will no longer invest.

When I think of my first book, I myself fell in love with the story. The names and even the ending has changed since I first wrote it. But the bricks and mortor have always been in place. My story made me smile and thankfully others have enjoyed it as well. So yes when you write that first book almost everyone who cares for you will buy that book. But you have to write good grammar to capture everyone else. AND THAT HAS BEEN MY DOWNFALL… But I have learned that hard lesson.

So I bid you all good day.. stay safe and thank you for gathering at my process.


POST write and twiddling those thumbs

So I have written the book, edits a bit more needed to release the new book with its amazing cover. Excited but waiting and waiting. I have readers that some are done and some are not. Wouldnt you think with the quarantine that we would have more time? I thought so too. I feel that I am busier and time is limited. But like everyone else, we are finding ways to fill that time, right!!

Trying to find more money to make to pay those debts down while everyone is forgiving. It’s working but then where is my time?

My priorities are different, and my writing and blogging seemed to go down the drain with family time.

So I turned my phone off, made my tea with my new tea ball (yes the obsession with shopping, exists in my home), and opened my computer. Blogging first priority, 2nd looking over the edits, 3rd call the pharmacy to find out about essential prescriptions that have been on hold forever and then reading my book for edits.

I feel better about where my priorities are and walllllla, lets try being a good human again…

Or will I.

Thank you my dear followers and read on– stay safe and healthy and till we write again….


Yes, that was a bears reference because, sadly for me, I love the Bears!! But not sadly so, I love my husband and I can honestly say that he loves me. It’s such a strange feeling, that I can say that with confidence. Not much in life for a writer is confident, from the writing to the editing.


So editing is a slow and grueling process. My goal was this Christmas, well that didn’t happen. My mortification of the book is over now and I am just trying to work through the book and make things right. The one thing I do love is that when people read the book they can say that it is an amazing read. Grammer is important obviously but if the story sucks, no matter what, you drown a slow death like Jack and that damn door.

So this is short but I wanted to get it out there.. Thank you to the few followers that I have. I can say I honestly and confedently adore you!!

Till next time… Good day

These are the days of our… are you kidding me?

So as life is doing its thing, so are we. Flowers and trees grow, so do we. They prosper and become beautiful and grown, or ugly and withered… so do we…. Then a hurricane rips up thru the area and destroys everything— our life is just like that. Except for us, maybe not as drastic as a hurricane, unless you actually were in a horrific natural disaster. I am talking about internal things or not so physical destruction. Just when things are going good, we spread our leaves out and let the freak flag fly… now sometimes that flag is stupid and covered in pickles. We make our own destruction, we cause our own havoc…
But I guess its the way we handle things in life.
Like right now.. I am editing my book again for the 2nd edition hardcover, its a bit frustrating but its my own doing… So its ok right?

To desk or not to desk??

So its a big belief, that the desk makes the writer.. I don’t think so but I don’t know what it is, when I buy a new book or desk its like, the best feeling ever!
I do love the new desk though, its all about position and room and the look. I wanted to make sure I was by the window, the room has to be clean and the desk set up… why?
I don’t think it matters but I love it anyway.
So I bought the new desk with the money from my book. Something about having a financial stream good enough to do that, makes it that much better. Now it wasn’t an expensive desk but it was still the thought that the money came from my book and it feels great. Like working for the first time and buying a cd or game or going to the movies.
So this journey so far has been an interesting one. One that I have learned from and the biggest thing I can say is; take your time.
Don’t rush the process, don’t promise anything and don’t feel the need to just “get it out there”.
It will then feel the need to s*&^ in your Wheaties. Rushing the job of a book its like anything rushed. Fixing a car- you need all the parts right?
So here is the horrible part………. it took me years to write my first book, but I allowed it to go out as quick as possible…. BAD BAD BAD
So if anything I can say, treat the last stages like you treat the writing, with caution, with care, with love.
I wish editors were cheaper.. Especially for new writers. I mean if you think about it, you have someone who is a writer and they don’t choose to be, its a drive. A pull a constant need. They are broke as broke can be. I work but I pay for everything, including anything for my writing. Its not cheap. But editors need money too…
I thankfully have a close friend who offered to do the job, she is possibly taken pity on me and my first book. But if she does the job then paying her wont be a problem.
So if you are self publishing, get a editor. Especially those of you that have that drive.. You have a great story…. But guess what– you suck when it comes to grammar… SUCKAGE. and maybe you aren’t horrible. Just me?? Well if what I wrote came across clear and amazing like its in my head, I wouldn’t need that editor… But we shall see. But one thing about editing especially if you dont have a following yet.. its will way more then you may make at first for that book.. but it may be worth it….

Have a great day

Ready or not….. not? and I have created a new word– maybe

So I am in full speed mode with the book tour just waiting on some go for it from some book stores. Now what to do… what to do?? Oh yea, I still have to write– that is the best part of this whole thing…. writing… I proudly tell people that Monday I go to my favorite job.. So I am finishing my short story collection and then I thought why not write a book on self publishing and what to do after the book is written..

Honestly the Internet was my biggest resource, but its the internet and there wasn’t anything out there that gets to the core of things. There are great books out there that give great information but to get a road map, an idea on what to do after– I cant find something from someone who has already self published and struggled. The idea that I had was different from the one I am in now.

So that’s my idea and I am working on that between the other books. So we shall see. Excited to pursue that part and then of course looking for the next best book. An idea that would blow my mind.. See my Vampire series was that and still is.. I love that book but being someone who self publishes its hard– that is why I am working so hard.. its a great idea and deserves the spotlight.

I know right- another author saying there book is amazing and so great – I know it is…. HUH my book has more confidence then me lol. Well another day and two more stories to write.. we shall see who I can offend today….

But let me leave you with a question….. do you feel that your book gets judged by its cover? So here’s a new word for those who don’t know– I am making it up now– a person who is racist against a genre because they don’t read those types of books– you ready? Here it is….. Genraism– an individual or individuals that judge a book by its —–genre… HA

I had to change the eism to aism because the definition for genreism is something about hip hop– so there u go– don’t be a Genraist .. love all books– read all books–

Book tour? Who would have thunk it!!

So with this journey I have learned the ins and outs. The how’s and how not too. The face palm, the hiding in my little corner while I cower in fear and the pat on the back-“ok ok I am not drowning yet” But in everything I have learned I would not have suspected to do something by mistake– at least not a good one. Its like sleep walking in the middle of the night, cleaning the house, playing the lottery, winning and then solving world peace- all while sleep walking… OK SO NOT THAT DRAMATIC OR INTENSE…

So now that I’ve brought the overly extensive drama to the table – my issue was I guess I have succeeded to start a book tour and I didn’t realize it… Now I only have one so far but I’m in talks with more and next year I will be going to certain states and then in 2021 it will be the 2 book conventions I will be attending. Now with all the planning and excitement and anxiety I have to still clean the house, maintain a full time job, make calls, put up flyers..

But isn’t that the list of most self published authors struggling to make a buck and get their name out. I am definitely not the only one I just feel like I am the person who is doing the mistakes so someone else doesn’t.

So checklist so far……

1. Want to be a writer- meaning working twice as hard for something that wont make a pretty decent living. People asking about your book and having a hard time describing it because there are layers DAMN IT. Finding time that you are already don’t have to write maybe an hour without distractions.

2. deciding to self publish… which means already getting the no’s, the tears and frustration of am I good enough. (its important to have a supportive someone)

3. edit edit and edit some more- and at some point, you have to stop— check to make sure the ….their, there, where and were and much more are on point. Keep names straight with stories.

4. self publish the work with a website that you have heard good reviews about. I am sure this part I am still not the expert on. My decision was to use something that everyone is familiar with. Amazon.

5. Make sure that you look over the finished product first– get a test copy first and read through it. This part was missed sadly and I had to remove and resubmit many times and so this part is so very important.

8 and a billion more are about advertising and getting the word out. Libraries, book stores, businesses, friends, coworkers. Putting in the man hours to put flyers up. Most of the book stores want emails about what you are, and what you would like.

Since I am in this stage and building full speed, I am not going to go any further but its a lot of money and time and steps and pride set aside and calling. The most important advice that I can give is:
Don’t assume that the people in your life will buy the book or support you. There will be people that will stand behind you but some people will surprise you and not buy the book. Don’t take it personal…..

As long as you have the one person who supports you the best way that they can then that’s good.. The other advice I would suggest is buy local.

So for right now, until I get to a decent ending I will hope this helps someone.

Keep working

Hard work continues

Yes Yes its been a while, I know! But between trying a new diet, busy at work, and breaking in a new computer its like I need five more hours in the day. So I have decided to try to work hard on sharing my book and my writing. I contacted the library so I can be an author to speak there. So I printed a bunch of flyers and am in the process of handing them out to businesses and people about the event. I made an event on Facebook and now I am writing about it. In the meantime still trying to finish my 2nd book- the short story collection.

I also purchased some books to hopefully sell at the event. We shall see. I have also reached out to these different news outlets to see if they would share my story. I mean how nice would it be to have the information you don’t know in one nice list? There are lists out there.. but I never thought they really prepared me for the leg work that I have had to do.

I also am seeing if the civic center here can do a book convention. That way I can present myself to the place I live. We shall see!!

I know that hard work is necessary but its hard work. No matter what it will pay off in the end. I know it will. The fun part is I get to do what I love and that is write. I have to continue writing so then I can get the revenue to someday get me into just being a fulltime writer.

I just wish it was a tad easier. But then it wouldn’t be a journey would it? I wouldn’t be sharing my experience so not only do I make changes and do better but maybe I inspire someone to write when they were afraid to do it and then what to do and what not to do…..

Hard work– A mandatory process

Its even more hard work and it gets worse

My very gullible thinking about how life would be after publishing– demolished

My support team– shaky but decent (thanks to coworkers and friends)

My confidence– nervous but still excited

Drama with every day– constant

What can I say? Rainbows and unicorns who pooped glitter and smiles in my direction isn’t the actual real life. My journey, like others that have ventured in the much bow down, amazing life of a writer, artist, or anything that doesn’t guarantee a paycheck from Wal-Mart, is a hard one. I imagined rubbing elbows with Stephen King and seeing my book in the arms of strangers and famous people.


Well that was a dream of some sorts, when I probably did crack while eating thirty cheeseburgers and drinking shots of Goldschlager (had to look it up to spell)…

But like all imaginary drunken dreams its far from it. Now with family drama like a plaque and dealing with emotions that are neither pretty or fun, I have to carry on. Like life we all face those crazy aspects of “am I ok?” Are we? I think we all question that. I think the more we treat someone like shit under our shoes the more we question it. But as a writer with confidence issues, I think we can all agree on this, the more drama the more we wonder.

What would our characters do? Hmm I guess it depends on which one, right?

But really to get to the serious talk and this is about a journey of a writer, the journey is never over. After publishing, there is still a lot of work, still a lot of keeping sane, keeping promises and keep writing. Keep your head up, keep those dreams alive, keep hustling!!

We are all in the same space and most of us have those demons. But like Sam and Dean in supernatural battling every week until next year (sad feelings) , all we need is the angel blade and a good burger… oh and an angel named Castiel and someone calling everyone “IDJITS”….. So to conclude this strange yet interesting topic of yet another part of my journey ……..we are going to be ok. If you don’t think you will be then I give you this…… they have oreos in stores, burgers with peanut butter and ice cream. They have ice cream… we will be ok… if you are on some kind of Keto diet– Bacon– they have BACON.


Thank you for listening to my rant and Good day!



Working hard and trying for next level

So I have been working on my short stories, posting on social media and trying to get the word out. I feel frustrated by how my book is not getting the attention it deserves. I am hearing it is a great book, some small errors in the editing but all in all the story is solid. So what am I doing wrong?

I know this is a journey and the journey is filled with ups and downs but the downs suck immensely. I am not the most popular, I am a little awkward in social situations and when people ask about my book, I get so giddy still that I cant remember what my book is about. I have however explained my book several different ways that I wonder if people aren’t wondering “does she have more then one book out?”

So I wonder, if I was someone that was popular, you know the person you just have to know, would I do better? Am I killing my book?

Is it my fault that my characters look up at me and say, “thanks a lot loser!!!”

So I moved around a lot, I don’t trust some people, I alienate some people, I have made wrong decisions, I judge, I am not skinny and blond or beautiful. I don’t hang as much, I am older and I have children. With all my faults, I feel that my book shouldn’t be ostracized because of me!! In terms that we can pun about it…. Don’t judge a book by its writer!!!

So what to do? I work hard, I write another and another and another. Isn’t that my dream? To be a writer, I must write…. Isn’t that what I am doing? So I don’t give up, I prove my writing is amazing and when I am older, greyer and wiser– well sort of- I shall have a hundred dollars in my saving, my name is spoken a least on 20 peoples lips that don’t know me at all and I can go have dinner at red lobster by myself with said 100 dollars, then I have no savings……… hmmm

Well journey of no… what I do know is that I will never give up. I will never falter and I will get better at this editing thing… I promise!!