The Passion, The Writer, the self doubt?

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Still in the process of becoming a famous writer. Writing stories and making it happen. A lot of self doubt tends to make the process hard to follow.

If you finally have the one book and said book is not how you saw it, but its done.. hurrah

The hold ups, the lack of time to write. The less then average readers (which i love you all and cherish every bit of you) all of it is maintainable and controllable. The self doubt is however no good.

But do you want to know what happens… you are editing and remember how much you love that story. How fun it was to write it. How great of a story that it was and is.

Done and just as quickly self doubt is gone. Was it questionable in the first place– god yes but no more….

Is it what is happening in our lives right now that messes with our sense of being a fab writer to a less of a good one– im sure. But time is fleeting and it gets better. Like my bestest of friends and family that I have in my life always remind me…………….. It gets better, it will get better.

Well as I always say, have a great day and battle on, whether just started out as a writer, or thinking about becoming one. Or maybe you are like me and finally trying to write other books. This journey is a long one, but we got this

When life gave me a margarita, dang it, I just drank it.

No, not an alcoholic or even an avid drinker. It is just one of the many synonyms for when life is going bad, make something positive out of it. But in this case, life isn’t terrible so run with it. My life isn’t terrible when it comes to my professional life at least for right now.

I have such a bad memory that I have to basically research my first book, to write a solid second book. Probably my fault for not writing it right away. So I have to make family trees, descriptions of characters, important timelines, and stuff like that.

I already have a direction for my books and where I want to go, what I would foresee for the future of my books, and so on.

Then, in the thick of it all, study the illusive, annoying, passive-aggressive, psychotic, wouldn’t want to take it to any party, “the proper way to add the COMMA.”

I hate editing, I hate commas. I feel like commas are like car payments. No fun, but necessary. Some people choose not to use them, but some people need to. I mean, yes we all should use commas, but you know.

That one person, (Karen) that rants on and on about how wrong you are for living your life and feels the need to not use commas or periods and gets all judgy about you when they should take care of their own bizness……..

On a side note, some of my good friends are named Karen, and they are the best people. Like one of my original editors, Karen I love you sweetie. I am going to vote to change “Karen” to a different name.. They can use mine.. it’s ok.. Just remember renaa with a j.

Well, this blog got way outta hand, but I have some writing to do.

Till we meet again… Keep being creative.

New Year, New you?

Have you ever gone into the new year and said to yourself that, this was the year that your life would be different. Your life was going to change. Who doesn’t… Yes, probably a group of people does exist, that doesn’t feel the need to continue torturing themselves… You may be one of them as my faithful reader. I feel that this is different. I feel that I am ready.

What do I mean by this?

From the beginning of my blogs, I have always been clear about my intention of being a published writer with an actual publisher-agent. I mean, don’t get me wrong, being published in any platform, you are published… I am published. But to fit in the palm, of what I think is professional publishing that has been my dream since I was little. I was on my mother’s typewriter, facing the window and telling this story. A story that made me excited to someday see it on the shelf of a public library. To see it in a stranger’s or nonstranger’s hand. To make a living, to just write stories that are in my head.

It wasn’t about money when I was little. Now it’s just wanting to do what I love and being able to just do that and nothing else. I am so close and know that when I seek that agent, I will do it.

I am ready

Who is with me? We are dreamers that have a feeling of constant need and want. It is our time.

Go with your bad self and get down to business!!

Till we meet again… Keep being creative.

Scattered life — hard to write

Yes, the ego of my writer ways did create the only license in Minnesota to say, writer. Full on, egotistic, brand spanking new, everyone knows me now, license plate. I am ok with this because I know the struggle that I have had to get where I am. I built myself from ground zero, less than zero, with a dream that I thought was so far off, it was someone else’s dream.

The question I have with myself however is….. what am I doing with such arrogance? How am I spending all this energy and creative wit? Am I writing? Am I taking a shot of tequila as yet another book has been completed? Um no. This year has thrown my life into another loop of “crazy life… hard to write.”

Between the deaths of family and friends, broken and torn limbs, working a lot and just messy messes, my life, me, my home, and my closest are messy, jumbled, and crazy. I decided that I needed to at least write a blog. Writing something, anything is better than nothing. The good thing is, is that I will get there. I have more stories in me. I am not done. Well, I am done writing this blog but just for right now.

Any future endeavors or what?

Being a writer is like a nightmare sometimes. A very repetitive nightmare that you just can’t get out of. Can’t seem to control and you always wonder, if you realize that you are in a nightmare, are you going to wake up from it ever. Now before the nightmare, before you went to sleep, you had the best intimacy in years, you just won the lottery and your bed is so comfortable that your son tries to sleep in it all the time. I think that all that is like actual writing. When you are writing something that just flows.

Editing (which if you read my blog, you all know how I feel), waiting, figuring out if I am a one-trick pony, all that in between bullshit is the nightmare. But I think above all of it, the worst nightmare. The kind of nightmare that wakes you up in screams and sweats is the type that you don’t have time to write. Between life and more life, personal and work-related, sometimes you are short on time. I am the so many that depend on 1 or 2 jobs to make it by. A single mother that is trying to make it and then a son that needs me more than I sometimes know what to do with. Between medical appointments and therapy, and different meds, it’s a tiring life.

I am thankful for the support I have now. If it wasn’t for so many people that have been amazing, including my son, I would be struggling. I am blessed with a very amazing group of friends, family, and a partner that keeps me sane. I hope for everyone reading this, that you have some semblance of blessing. I hope that you all are getting what you need from the people in your life.

But until then- you know what you need to do

Till we meet again…. Stay creative

How to begin. Again. And again…. and again?

A continuation of something… is not as easy as I thought. A plan , an idea, characters, why would someone continue this story…. I am literally asking. Why would a person put so much stress in their life……

Not only do you worry about the public but your own opinion.  I mean if your characters aren’t behaving and choose to not care. They chose to go from the nice old lady to the gta bad ass and shoot down a couple people.

Characters can take on their own personality but what if their personality sucks? What if you have a bunch of Karen’s or a bunch of hitlers???

Annoying people who run amuck causing unnecessary drama….

Thank God that I have my God button called the delete button. Baaaaaaa haaaaaa

But back to the continuation of a story..sequel of the original story. In my annoying case the story was supposed to be …..beginning middle and then the end. Thankfully with maturity,  lots of movies and my own opinions I didn’t want the simple….life isn’t simple..

Well after I do research on some things and work on a couple family tree stuff let the 2nd book begin…

Another Book, I say

All is said and not done or never done, I think

After completing a book or two or maybe three, I expect to write more. It’s a need and a want. But whether it’s fear of continuing on perfectly or other book ideas, it can be difficult. Ideas are not the issue, it’s the fear for me. The fear, I can get over, I know but still fear anyway. Anyone can get over the fear, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t keep us from doing something right away. I am excited about writing the next book and that means finding a publisher, then its fear of rejection…. our oldest and meanest of friends.

I am hoping after advertisement, some ok sales, a somewhat known circle of amazing buyers, and other stuff that I have come far enough to get attention from someone that wants my books. I will try when I am ready and that is when I start writing and finish chapters. So wish me luck,,,, I will need it.

Porch thieves and conspiracy??

So exciting news has finally come to light… My second book is now ready to be live, whether I am ready or not…

I finished my book on both the Amazon and Barnes and Nobles platforms. I received my first book to approve the cover.. made changes, received it again, and done… Perfection as it can be without someone professional. But then I approved the book at the other platform and I was waiting, not so patiently for the book to come in… guess what???

I was gone that day and I received notification that it came in a few hours before I would get home…… Well, I came home and no package….. NOOOOOOOOOOO.

I knew that cover was going to be fine but because it wasn’t in my hands, I of course was nervous– especially since my first book was such a cluster mess, of not-so-nice adventures and learning curbs…

So I took this as another learning curb– Funny story, horrible porch thieves but I figured… if someone has my book,,, maybe just maybe a stranger will finally buy my book. Right!! Amazon refunded my money, which was great but all in all, I am ok with someone stealing my book… Doesn’t that mean that in a weird way it was worth something?

Hmmmmm

I am a big believer that if someone steals something of mine, then they needed it more than me. Now that doesn’t mean that stealing is ok and yes it still sucks but HEY I hope whoever steals it, actually reads it and goes “wow, a really good book.” Now if karma can just play her part and have its way with their salad and give them a case of the stomach blues for stealing my book… I know I know, I shouldn’t think that way. But I am a writer and well we write characters in worse dilemmas.

But anyway… All of my links are at the bottom and I hope that a stranger, whoever you are, buys my short storybook, and my first book and you get it safe and sound.

By the way, this is a true story and the conspiracy is…. did I just do this to promote my book???

No otherwise I would have thought of something like that for my first book

Barnes and nobles

The Love of a vampire

The Love Of A Vampire by Jene’ Lindor, Ryan Bishop, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Amazon

The Love of a Vampire and Stories to keep you warm at night

Amazon.com : jene lindor

Facebook Page

Jene Lindor :Author and wrangler of stories galore | Facebook

The journey so far

I wish there was a way to see into the future to have a moment of what happens with my choices that I make. A glimpse that would tell me if I made a choice that would be right or wrong. I think we all have that wish. Or maybe we don’t. Its like knowing our death day. Knowing what would happen could possibly change my choice, thus changing the future, thus changing the outcome.

Did my cover turn out well?

Was the book a success?

Did I feel good my book?

How many do I end up writing?

Did I ever get published?

Those questions definitely would be in my top 500, besides the questions like, did I raise a bunch of jerks? Are my friends actual sociopath’s? Does Adam Cole become president?(please no)

But really and truly, the journey so far has been an interesting one. Triumph, tears, screams, anger, elation, worry, and other emotions that I think are illegal in 50 states. But the one thing I could say about my journey is I would do it all again. Maybe change a few things about the journey that should have been different but ultimately stay the same.

update

I am finishing my short story book. It is about 14 stories of interesting outcomes, ones that most of my characters probably wished that they had a small glimpse to the future. But they all have to find out the hard way on living their life.

Till we meet again…. Stay creative

Again and again and again…?

What would you say if you were stuck in a loop of some sort? What if you feel this sense of deja vu about something you already did?

Well if your any kind of frustrated writer… (i dont know about artists…. recreating a painting would be annoying)…. sometimes you have to rewrite your baby… Your prized pig. Your first born that you have waited years to see in bloom. The embaressement, the frustration, the anger ….. all that just because you rushed or wasnt careful who you trusted…..

But the good news is….. its finally done. Its out there like a beautiful piece of work. This blog was probably written already—- thus the groundhog whine, but its done. Your first book, finished and pretty is out there.

and boy is it pretty.

Sales are not pretty…. I need those to be the successful writer but even though the money would be nice at this point….. it is not that easy… I cant just climb into the writer ring and take the gold…. God no.

I have to work hard for it…..

I call this the stranger chapter….. Friends and family will possibly buy the book— what we need is that stranger or strangers. Without that that loop will be ever repeating.

But my theory will be write the first book— check

Write the second book

Write the third book

Find publisher

Breakthru

We shall see…………..

Well it has been a blast…. yet again but gotta keep going.

Till we meet again.. Keep being creative.