Being a writer is like a nightmare sometimes. A very repetitive nightmare that you just can’t get out of. Can’t seem to control and you always wonder, if you realize that you are in a nightmare, are you going to wake up from it ever. Now before the nightmare, before you went to sleep, you had the best intimacy in years, you just won the lottery and your bed is so comfortable that your son tries to sleep in it all the time. I think that all that is like actual writing. When you are writing something that just flows.
Editing (which if you read my blog, you all know how I feel), waiting, figuring out if I am a one-trick pony, all that in between bullshit is the nightmare. But I think above all of it, the worst nightmare. The kind of nightmare that wakes you up in screams and sweats is the type that you don’t have time to write. Between life and more life, personal and work-related, sometimes you are short on time. I am the so many that depend on 1 or 2 jobs to make it by. A single mother that is trying to make it and then a son that needs me more than I sometimes know what to do with. Between medical appointments and therapy, and different meds, it’s a tiring life.
I am thankful for the support I have now. If it wasn’t for so many people that have been amazing, including my son, I would be struggling. I am blessed with a very amazing group of friends, family, and a partner that keeps me sane. I hope for everyone reading this, that you have some semblance of blessing. I hope that you all are getting what you need from the people in your life.
But until then- you know what you need to do
Till we meet again…. Stay creative