So much has happened in my life as of late and unfortunately a lot of important events, people, and things have been thrown to the wayside. I of course, as an adult, knew that everything would eventually get better but for a while I was drowning. Thank god for life preservers…. people and my own strength. I think as a society we forget that we need those two things, or we forget we have them. I am very lucky that I have so many amazing people that are in my life, but we don’t always have a way to remember that, when we are so deep in the mud. As I wept hard in my closet and I didnt think I would stop or get out of the closet, I had choices to make.
I could either stay in this closet and stop existing or I can get out of this closet and be me. Be who a lot of people depend on and of course who I need. It was a dark place but like I said I knew that it would get better. We have to remember to breathe and keep breathing. It may feel like the other would be better, no more pain, no more hurt, no more. But what about love, friendship, karaoke, Legos, DnD, summers, winters, nature, books, movies, Netflix, art. What about when things aren’t so bad,
For me it was my writing, friends and family and the days where I can laugh fully again, without afterthought.
But even if we can’t remember those things at the moment, they are there. There was a really cool post on Facebook that basically said, “I would rather talk to you about your problems than lose you for them.” That is so true. If you were like me and I was in a room full of people but I felt utterly alone, we sometimes have to find that strength that we all have. It’s there and will be there when we are at the most desperate. Then we can find that one person who can help.
Another important aspect that I forgot is to be patient with yourself. I hurt myself a lot by feeling like I had to jump into my life right away. Some forms of our lives we have to… children, work, eating. But things like writing can wait until we are ready. Writing, reading, drawing, painting, exercising…. anything that brings us absolute joy can wait just a bit more. They will be there when you’re ready.
So don’t be too hard on yourself, reach out when you need help and remember we all have that strength that is there when you need it most.
Till we meet again. Keep being creative!!