When did our love, our passion, and our reason for getting up every day just get put on the back burner? I, like so many out there, yearn to write and when we don’t write it’s like a pull. But what happens when we can’t write?

Being a parent

Stress

for me, a new job, which comes with medical terminology… or I don’t have a job……..

My new job, which I love, is exhausting and by the end of the day, I am too tired to do much. So on the weekend when I should be cleaning and writing, I’m exhausted and tired or feeling cruddy. I am hoping this changes but it’s disheartening all the same.

I have a website that I haven’t even started. I have a book that I need to finish. I have other books that I need to finish.

Is this the beginning of the end of my dream? Is this the end of life as I know it (Yes being dramatic but why not)…

I don’t think so… sorry for those that were in the corner laughing menacily. For those who saw my 80’s tribute of fist in the air, celebrating my understanding that I will come out more successful than ever before, thank you. I love you all!!

As for now…. Till we meet again; Keep being creative!!

It has been a bit since I’ve written in my blog but a lot has been happening.

Between life and work and everything else in between, I have been working on just keeping my life afloat. So here’s a question for all of you out there…. Would you consider doing multiple projects at once? I don’t recommend it and I don’t know how to do multiple projects without having anxiety or frustration. I have always believed in one thing at a time. I want to be like a salon and not like Walmart. (i want to be a master of one not a multiple master of none)…

I mean if I could be a full-time writer and not worry about working to make a living, that would be great. It wouldn’t take as long to get a book out there. But can we really blame that? Do we take more time away from our writing by going on TikTok or getting distracted? If we just took away all the distractions, all the electronics, all the everything, wouldn’t we still get distracted with that ball of yarn? Are we as writers just purely ADHD? Are we all just a bunch of chaotic, hyper, depressed, scary people?

Is this a good enough reason to self-medicate with strong caffeine? I mean I say yes.. But that’s because I love caffeine. I really do… But anyway…… I don’t like the multiple projects. What do you all do when you have multiple projects to do and you can’t back down on any of the projects? That’s not a choice.

Till we meet again–Keep being creative!!

I know I have written about being too busy, which we all feel the same. The older I get, the more I understand the saying, “Not enough time in the day.” That is such a true statement. So how does one make time for life, children, work, our dreams, our hobbies, and then of course the most important… that self-care thing? What self-care thing? What is that? Unfortunately with our lives being the way that they are, that self-care is the first thing that goes away. Some of you look at this and say… “Nope, not me. That self-care comes first….”

I agree with that statement, but do I live by that statement? No. This is why Mental Health is such a problem in our country. We don’t care for ourselves. No wonder we have stopped caring for each other. But getting back to what I can control. Which is me and what I want to live by.

I want to be a kind person

I want to make sure that my family knows that I love them.

I want to be a writer until I can no longer verbally or physically tell a story

I want to not be homeless

I want to surround myself with people that strive for better and make me better.

Last but not least I want to keep being creative and hope that you are too, whatever that means.

Till we meet again… keep being creative!!

So far, it has been a roller coaster of a ride. If you are a writer that is just starting out, a writer that isn’t making “the real money” yet or just hasn’t felt comfortable enough to quit, then you all know the feeling. The same feeling that I have. Will I ever just be able to be a writer without having to work a second job? For me, because I can’t just sit at home and write, I have to work a full-time job. So I only get so much time to write but I know that I will get there. So will you!!

For some of us, writing isn’t just about making money. It’s about the thrill of someone reading my book. It’s the writing on my computer and knowing that one day it will be on someone’s shelf or iPad. It’s knowing that if I go to a library, I may find my book. But I want to just write one-day full time, and just write. Who knows. If I can ever finish this book, a publisher I will seek and maybe I can get lucky. Sorry about the rant… But anyway, now that I am done doing most of my research on my own book, I now have permission to just write. My poor sister, however, is just editing her second book. Love you Lacie!! Writing is the best part, the only part that we love. I am sure there are those psychos that enjoy editing and for you writers of a different breed, I will look at you through a magnifying glass, and wonder what Alien race you came from….

But in the meantime my dear readers, writers, artists, positive thinkers of this world and Westworld… tee hee…

Till we meet again… Keep being creative.

Have you ever gone into the new year and said to yourself that, this was the year that your life would be different. Your life was going to change. Who doesn’t… Yes, probably a group of people does exist, that doesn’t feel the need to continue torturing themselves… You may be one of them as my faithful reader. I feel that this is different. I feel that I am ready.

What do I mean by this?

From the beginning of my blogs, I have always been clear about my intention of being a published writer with an actual publisher-agent. I mean, don’t get me wrong, being published in any platform, you are published… I am published. But to fit in the palm, of what I think is professional publishing that has been my dream since I was little. I was on my mother’s typewriter, facing the window and telling this story. A story that made me excited to someday see it on the shelf of a public library. To see it in a stranger’s or nonstranger’s hand. To make a living, to just write stories that are in my head.

It wasn’t about money when I was little. Now it’s just wanting to do what I love and being able to just do that and nothing else. I am so close and know that when I seek that agent, I will do it.

I am ready

Who is with me? We are dreamers that have a feeling of constant need and want. It is our time.

Go with your bad self and get down to business!!

Till we meet again… Keep being creative.

Yes, the ego of my writer ways did create the only license in Minnesota to say, writer. Full on, egotistic, brand spanking new, everyone knows me now, license plate. I am ok with this because I know the struggle that I have had to get where I am. I built myself from ground zero, less than zero, with a dream that I thought was so far off, it was someone else’s dream.

The question I have with myself however is….. what am I doing with such arrogance? How am I spending all this energy and creative wit? Am I writing? Am I taking a shot of tequila as yet another book has been completed? Um no. This year has thrown my life into another loop of “crazy life… hard to write.”

Between the deaths of family and friends, broken and torn limbs, working a lot and just messy messes, my life, me, my home, and my closest are messy, jumbled, and crazy. I decided that I needed to at least write a blog. Writing something, anything is better than nothing. The good thing is, is that I will get there. I have more stories in me. I am not done. Well, I am done writing this blog but just for right now.

Being a writer is like a nightmare sometimes. A very repetitive nightmare that you just can’t get out of. Can’t seem to control and you always wonder, if you realize that you are in a nightmare, are you going to wake up from it ever. Now before the nightmare, before you went to sleep, you had the best intimacy in years, you just won the lottery and your bed is so comfortable that your son tries to sleep in it all the time. I think that all that is like actual writing. When you are writing something that just flows.

Editing (which if you read my blog, you all know how I feel), waiting, figuring out if I am a one-trick pony, all that in between bullshit is the nightmare. But I think above all of it, the worst nightmare. The kind of nightmare that wakes you up in screams and sweats is the type that you don’t have time to write. Between life and more life, personal and work-related, sometimes you are short on time. I am the so many that depend on 1 or 2 jobs to make it by. A single mother that is trying to make it and then a son that needs me more than I sometimes know what to do with. Between medical appointments and therapy, and different meds, it’s a tiring life.

I am thankful for the support I have now. If it wasn’t for so many people that have been amazing, including my son, I would be struggling. I am blessed with a very amazing group of friends, family, and a partner that keeps me sane. I hope for everyone reading this, that you have some semblance of blessing. I hope that you all are getting what you need from the people in your life.

But until then- you know what you need to do

Till we meet again…. Stay creative