The Passion, The Writer, the self doubt?

Still in the process of becoming a famous writer. Writing stories and making it happen. A lot of self doubt tends to make the process hard to follow.

If you finally have the one book and said book is not how you saw it, but its done.. hurrah

The hold ups, the lack of time to write. The less then average readers (which i love you all and cherish every bit of you) all of it is maintainable and controllable. The self doubt is however no good.

But do you want to know what happens… you are editing and remember how much you love that story. How fun it was to write it. How great of a story that it was and is.

Done and just as quickly self doubt is gone. Was it questionable in the first place– god yes but no more….

Is it what is happening in our lives right now that messes with our sense of being a fab writer to a less of a good one– im sure. But time is fleeting and it gets better. Like my bestest of friends and family that I have in my life always remind me…………….. It gets better, it will get better.

Well as I always say, have a great day and battle on, whether just started out as a writer, or thinking about becoming one. Or maybe you are like me and finally trying to write other books. This journey is a long one, but we got this

Mentally preparing to be Mental….

Lets not ignore that this is 2020 but add on top of 2020 everything else besides that. Relationships that go from good to bad, jobloss, sickness, family bs, kids failing in classes, but last and the most important, lack of motivation when trying to finish a book or two.

More time to do stuff seems to give me less time to complete stuff.. if i was in math class that equation would be so confusing.

All in all its still a waiting game. Waiting on others to help finish your goal, which is very necessary. But i only wait because who im waiting for is picked for their talent…well worth it….

So till next time…we shall write again

Editing is slower then the election results

So all I’m doing right now is those edits. Those damn edits that sometimes makes it feel that my 5 yr old nephew wrote the story. I knew that the process would be long and terrible but I was hoping to take an uber and be done with it.

But edits are a necessary evil, evil as hell evil, evil as diets evil. But the journey still marches on as it must and I am excited because I am at the end of it.

Short I know but necessary

Till next time

As the world stops… or pause

So we are in the world filled of covid, Trump and Biden supporters at way opposite ends. Tik Tok becoming a social media outlet for all ages, body size, religious ideals, political ideals and sexual preference.. much much more. And of course there’s me, who in the middle of the homeschooling chaos I am writing/ editing like I have all the time in the world.

Change I say. Do better I scream. Dont F*** this up.

Well, so I shall stop blogging and start my writing because it needs to happen…

Hope to all that you all stay safe and healthy. Please be kind, of course rewind and dont forget to eat your veggies.

Till I blog again….

The new new cover……… newer then new.

I just talked to my good friend and amazing artist who is completing my new cover. Jeff has been a long time friend and coworker, and once saw I saw his art, I knew right away that I was going to have him do my cover.

We both share the same vision of what we want and because I don’t have one creative drawing bone in my body, I am super excited. I can draw stick people, but that’s pretty much it. The two covers that I had thought I would have to live with, had been the generic ones that I curl in the corner and pray that I am not doing something illegal. So this was a dream come true… I tried to give a certain family member a chance but the response time was 0. So my question would be to all you beautiful people would be,,………………………

When you are trying to live out your dream, or your dream for right now…….. do you get family support? I dont mean only the praise but do they buy your books, art pieces, poetry, anything you bravely create? Or do they help with creating your dream?

I hope so. I really do. The worst feeling in the world is not feeling that support. I think that if the people who do truly support you are there for you and your creative self then those people are who matter. My closest family are the best when it comes to it. So im lucky. Im talking family and friends.

Well I am done for right now but thank you from the depths of my heart. Talk to you all later…..

Depression? Anxiety? Nah, just taking my time in the bathroom…

So it had to be said, yes it had to be done. The not so silly topic of mental health during the path of being a writer. Are writers empaths? I have to wonder. Probably not all, but it sure seems like that. I mean we do have to feel all the feels because we are making the strong attempt on knowing how other people are feeling. We have to make the choice of killing someone, and then turn around and feel how everyone feels about that death.

Ok maybe not empaths but maybe more like lunatics. Who wants to feel everyone’s feels? I don’t like feeling my own feels. But we do have to touch on this subject, right? In this journey of being who I want to be, I find that I have my own demons. Those demons tend to become louder when I am not writing as much.

But writing isn’t the only issue, is it? In my case and probably a lot of us, we can be gathered with so many people, husband, wife, friends, and family but still feel alone. Still feel like the outsider, still feel like no one is there. Writing is even harder because as alone as I feel, putting myself out there makes you feel that not only will you be alone but you will be disliked, criticized, judged.

I think anytime someone puts themselves out there, that scare is real.

How scary is this topic? Lets be real here…… Why do we feel alone? I think, and I speak for myself at least. When something bad happens, when you feel lost…… is there someone actually in your life that you can talk to? Someone who wont reflect themselves in your cry for help. Someone who will listen and not talk. Someone who is willing to drive over to you and bring you a bottle of wine. We don’t always want someone to relate. Just listen and understand that this may be that cry for help. Or this may be just what we needed.

The part of being a writer is that for our imaginations to grow wild…. There are always someone willing to listen… we just don’t think it. Does this pandemic make things worse—- Heck yes.

So if this relates to you…. don’t imagine that you have no one. You do. You have someone that loves you and cares for you. You have someone in your life that would do anything to be there for you, if that meant that when they need you, that you would return the favor.

But if you truly felt that you have no one and things are too much to handle. Reach out, because I can guarantee that someone cares for you and sometimes its hard to see.

So I leave the information below for anyone that needs it.


And as always I shall talk to you all again, another time.

Twiddling of thy thumbs…

I guess that this was the moment I hated the most. The moment where I am not doing what I should be doing… and that is, write. With this whole pandemic, I have become busier than before. I hope everyone stays safe and healthy by the way.

I am waiting for other people who seem to have become busy too, so I can publish my book with its handy dandy new cover and edits. (which I am fine with their time, I want them to take their time) All I have to do is edit my short stories… easy right? Wrong. I don’t know if its the fear of completing something to just move on to my next project and knowing just how much of a failure I really am?

I know that I have to go back to my roots and just write. In the writing, publishing, and smile business, I have to maintain some sort of confidence. Otherwise, you have just wasted everybody’s time. I do mean everybody and even everything. From the time typing to the friends, family, and hopefully strangers that invest in your book.. Not really the book but in you.

They invest in you as a writer, hoping that you are someone with good ideas. They invest in your book because they want to know more of the stories.

So if your story sucks, they will no longer invest.

When I think of my first book, I myself fell in love with the story. The names and even the ending has changed since I first wrote it. But the bricks and mortor have always been in place. My story made me smile and thankfully others have enjoyed it as well. So yes when you write that first book almost everyone who cares for you will buy that book. But you have to write good grammar to capture everyone else. AND THAT HAS BEEN MY DOWNFALL… But I have learned that hard lesson.

So I bid you all good day.. stay safe and thank you for gathering at my process.


POST write and twiddling those thumbs

So I have written the book, edits a bit more needed to release the new book with its amazing cover. Excited but waiting and waiting. I have readers that some are done and some are not. Wouldnt you think with the quarantine that we would have more time? I thought so too. I feel that I am busier and time is limited. But like everyone else, we are finding ways to fill that time, right!!

Trying to find more money to make to pay those debts down while everyone is forgiving. It’s working but then where is my time?

My priorities are different, and my writing and blogging seemed to go down the drain with family time.

So I turned my phone off, made my tea with my new tea ball (yes the obsession with shopping, exists in my home), and opened my computer. Blogging first priority, 2nd looking over the edits, 3rd call the pharmacy to find out about essential prescriptions that have been on hold forever and then reading my book for edits.

I feel better about where my priorities are and walllllla, lets try being a good human again…

Or will I.

Thank you my dear followers and read on– stay safe and healthy and till we write again….


Yes, that was a bears reference because, sadly for me, I love the Bears!! But not sadly so, I love my husband and I can honestly say that he loves me. It’s such a strange feeling, that I can say that with confidence. Not much in life for a writer is confident, from the writing to the editing.


So editing is a slow and grueling process. My goal was this Christmas, well that didn’t happen. My mortification of the book is over now and I am just trying to work through the book and make things right. The one thing I do love is that when people read the book they can say that it is an amazing read. Grammer is important obviously but if the story sucks, no matter what, you drown a slow death like Jack and that damn door.

So this is short but I wanted to get it out there.. Thank you to the few followers that I have. I can say I honestly and confedently adore you!!

Till next time… Good day

These are the days of our… are you kidding me?

So as life is doing its thing, so are we. Flowers and trees grow, so do we. They prosper and become beautiful and grown, or ugly and withered… so do we…. Then a hurricane rips up thru the area and destroys everything— our life is just like that. Except for us, maybe not as drastic as a hurricane, unless you actually were in a horrific natural disaster. I am talking about internal things or not so physical destruction. Just when things are going good, we spread our leaves out and let the freak flag fly… now sometimes that flag is stupid and covered in pickles. We make our own destruction, we cause our own havoc…
But I guess its the way we handle things in life.
Like right now.. I am editing my book again for the 2nd edition hardcover, its a bit frustrating but its my own doing… So its ok right?